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Vibrators

Vibrators

Review • B Swish Bcurious • A Tale of Nope

bswish-bcurious-3This, friends, is the B Swish Bcurious, and I’m going to Bhonest here: I can’t even. My clit doesn’t even have discriminatin’ tastes, and I still can’t get off with this thing for the life of me.

While using Bcurious, I found my mind wandering, restlessly wanting to grab another vibrator to finish the job. Perhaps I was in the wrong state of mind to be masturbating? I switched to the Iroha Mini, the toy whose vibes most closely matched those of Bcurious (weak as hell, but nevertheless good), to make sure I wasn’t exaggerating Bcurious’ flaws. Sure enough, the second I put Mini on my clit, I got ‘gasm stirrings.
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Vibrators

Review • PicoBong Transformer • Art is Long, Life is Short

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PicoBong sent me this flexy gadget named Transformer to review, so here we go!

Transformer is a minimalist, snaking cable with one spheroid bulb at each end, each end containing its own motor. It’s 25 ½ inches in total, 17 inches comprising the bendable vertebrae that separate the two vibrators. The whole thing is enveloped in a satiny body-safe silicone.

It comes in three colors: black, cerise, and yellow.

I chose the bright lemon yellow because, paired with Transformer’s wide array of curve configurations, it reminded me of the kinetic energy and joyfulness of Keith Haring‘s pop art (aaand I just learned Tenga apparently has a line of Keith Haring masturbator eggs/cups? Rad!)
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Vibrators

Review • Iroha Mini Clitoral Vibrator • Humdrop

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This kawaii-as-fuck little buddy is the Iroha Mini, a single-speed, waterproof vibrator that takes one AAA battery and retails for under $30. Iroha is an offshoot of Tenga, famous for their masturbator eggs.

Having briefly been an Art Major in a past life, I recognized that Iroha used complementary colors for two of their color schemes:

Fuji Lemon, which is pale purple/buttercream yellow –and– Sora-Mikan (which means sky-Satsuma mandarin in Japanese), the one I chose, which is powder blue/goldenrod.

Ume-Anzu (meaning Japanese plum-apricot) is two shades of salmon pink. I’m guessing they figured it would be too reminiscent of Christmas to pair pink with its complement, green. In any event, I’m definitely digging the unconventionality of their color choices, even the ubiquitous pinkity-pink is different.
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Vibrators

Review • Minna Limon Clitoral Vibrator • Stress Ball of the Future

I think I’ve found my dream toy. I mean it when I say I’m smitten. In deep smit. Up smit creek without a paddle.

I have been sitting here coming and coming like some kind of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think I’ve had nine orgasms from it in the last two hours. Pinky pulled up in the driveway and I thought, “can I get off between now and the moment he walks in the door (about ten seconds)?” The answer is yes. 

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Vibrators

Review • Fun Factory Jam • Delicious, But Not on Toast

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The Jam is my second ever FUN FACTORY vibrator. My first being a yellow Dinky Digger G2 vibrator that is now discontinued. I ended up playing sex toy fairy and giving Digger to a pre-orgasmic friend of mine in college, and have missed it ever since. FUN FACTORY makes aesthetically-pleasing, body-safe, German-engineered sex toys that stand out as some of the best on the market, so I was super excited for the launch of their affordable smartVIBE collection. 

This lil’ toy has two settings –ON and OFF– activated by twisting the cap, and with one further twist to the right, the cap pops off so you can change its battery. Jam comes in two colors (Lord help me, I almost wrote flavors!), vitamin and dark blue. Vitamin, the stunning day-glo poppy shade I chose (pictured above), looks mouthwatering! 

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Vibrators

Review • Jimmyjane FORM 2 • I Can’t Handle “The Tooth”

Before we talk sex, let’s talk specs. The Jimmyjane FORM 2 is a palm-sized solid vibrator in medical-grade matte silicone with a stainless steel bottom for charging. The appeal of this sucker lies in its two stiff, rotating, vibration-wielding arms. “Sensation in Stereo,” the advertisement proclaims, referring to the dual motors housed in its arms.

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That’s some fancy footwork!

It doesn’t come with a case or bag of any sort; the recharging dock cradles the toy while not in use. It’s waterproof, and can be locked for travel, and remembers your last setting when you turn it back on again.The FORM 2 has three buttons, a plus and minus sign to control the power of the vibrations, and a tilde to toggle through four patterns (constant, oscillate, thrum, and pulse.

According to urban legend, there is a hidden “chaos” mode that can be activated with the right amount of skill, akin to capturing all the Chaos Emeralds in Sonic the Hedgehog and morphing into Super Sonic.

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