“It was the best of slimes, it was the worst of slimes…”
From Vancouver, Canada-based company Hathor comes Sutil, a water-based natural lubricant that performs like silicone. Developed by a mother-daughter team, it’s the thickest, slickest, longest-lasting water-based lube I’ve ever used. I thought I had died and gone to some version of heaven where fornication is legal.
Free of glycerin, parabens, GMOs, and other nasties, this sumptuous oat beta glucan- and lotus root-infused blend doesn’t get gummy as it dries up, nor does it create a sensory barrier between you and your partner in the same way that cushier silicone lubes have a tendency to do.
The first bottle of Aloe Cadabra that was sent to me–unscented Natural Aloe– fell into a cup of coffee that was sitting next to my bed while I was masturbating. I didn’t realize until it was too late; the label now has a shabby chic antique sepia cast to rival the most Pinterest-worthy scrapbook instructional! Not a big deal except I hadn’t taken photos of the damn thing.
The rad peeps over at Aloe Cadabra sent me a new bottle– this time of Piña Colada flavor, along with samples of their other flavored offerings – Peppermint Tingle, French Lavender, and Tahitian Vanilla.
I am a negligent monster, you guys. I used bad lube. You know the kind I’m talking about: parabens, propylene glycol, dimethylpoly-what-the-fuck-is-this-chemical; for all I know it had microscopic shards of glass in it, my reaction was that bad. Sometimes lessons from The Universe come in the form of an irritated, itchy vulva that burns for weeks.
All I know is I’m lubing clean from now on. I’m on a journey to find lubes that won’t lead to a disgruntled cunt. That brings me to my first discovery: Coconu Personal Lubricant, which comes in both goo (water-based), and grease (oil-based) varieties.
Both preparations contain 100% natural ingredients, and are free of alcohol, cruelty, animal products, petrochemicals, parabens, GMOs, gluten, phylates, fragrances, and dyes. Bonus points for delightful packaging design.