Poring over sex toy forums, there was a theme I picked up on pretty quickly: a dearth of girth. Folks disappointed by the lack of meaty dildos just long enough to bottom out during a strap-on pounding. Not colossal horse “dongs,” or foot-long PVC cervix impalers that sweat nightmare toxins, but simply body-safe, strap-on compatible dildos of average length with a formidable circumference.
I have a friend of the Sapphic persuasion who wanted to try being on the receiving end of strap-on play, but felt as though all the strap-on compatible dildos she’d seen at sex shops were too big for her vagina.
She doesn’t engage in penetration with anything except a finger or two, so even so-called small dildos were intimidating.
There are a million and one X-TREME monster dildos circulating the dildo-sphere, but very few body-safe, strap-on compatible penetrative toys of modest proportions. Tantus is changing that, because duh, it’s Tantus; they’re always going out of their way to make everyone feel included.
The first thing I did when I pulled it out of the box was give it a sniff. Pinky said, “smells like…dingus?” No, it doesn’t smell like dingus, silly– it smells like licorice! I don’t like fragrances emanating from my sex toys though (I’m looking at you, LELO), so luckily the scent wore off within a couple of days.
Rookie is a minimalist, 100% silicone dildo that comes with a black ABS plastic, one-speed, waterproof bullet vibe (batteries included). Rookie is the smallest of the realistic offerings in Good Vibrations’ Pleasure Works line, and comes in three flesh tones: Vanilla, Caramel (pictured), and Coffee.
It’s got a less-is-more-meets-more-than-meets-the-eye appeal (that’s a tongue-twister). That’s the beauty of it: humble simplicity with small details that remind you – YES – this dildo was designed by sex educators using trial and error, not just speculation!
Metis Black, founder of Tantus, tweeted that the palest shade in the Uncut collection, Cream, looks “a bit albino.” Until now, I didn’t have a single dildo I could strap on that looked like it was part of my body. My Irish skin is always at least two shades lighter than any realistic dildo, so I tweeted back at her, “Thanks for the representation!” The other colors in the collection are equally stunning: Cocoa, a lovely olive shade, and Mocha, a rich blue-black.
When I held Uncut in my dildo-greedy mitts, it appeared unnervingly massive; at 7.45″ of insertable length and 1.75″ in diameter, it’s the thickest and longest dildo that would conquer my vagina. The Uncut #2 is its one-inch-shorter counterpart, which I passed up because, hey, more shaft to hold onto!
It was too long to use as a strap-on with the thinner-bodied partner I attempted it with, but I mostly chose this dildo for my-own-dang-self, so I wasn’t heartbroken. If your main goal is going balls-deep with your strap-on, I’d suggest the Uncut #2, unless you know your partner can take very long toys, or he/she is a person of size who needs that extra length to bypass bigger butt cheeks, for example.
Tantus Sport is a really nice dildo. A no-nonsense, all-purpose, sensible dildo. A dildo’s dildo. It comes in two sizes: Sport, a petite opening act that “sports” five-and-a-half inches of insertable length, and Sport Long, a lengthy seven-and-a-half-incher, both made from Tantus’ 100% fully-sterilizable, odorless, body-safe, signature Ultra-Premium Silicone (whew!).
Personally, I love the element of surprise that comes with choosing a Tantus Grab Bag; Sport is nearly half-price if you’re not picky about the color. Mine turned out to be a pearlescent lilac shade. Not bad.
Tantus Slow Drive came out in late 2014 as a remake of a discontinued Tantus favorite called Faerie. It’s a non-phallic, glossy, Ultra Platinum Silicone dildo with 5″ of insertable length, and a 1.25″ diameter. It comes in silver, midnight purple, and black. I chose the hypnotizing silver, which, when held up to the light, dances with swirls of gunmetal gray, like a shimmering pool of liquid mercury.