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Review • Vixen Creations VixSkin Randy, Happy Valley Hottie Xtra, & Tantus Mikey O2 • Where The Big Dicks At?


Poring over sex toy forums, there was a theme I picked up on pretty quickly: a dearth of girth. Folks disappointed by the lack of meaty dildos just long enough to bottom out during a strap-on pounding. Not colossal horse “dongs,” or foot-long PVC cervix impalers that sweat nightmare toxins, but simply body-safe, strap-on compatible dildos of average length with a formidable circumference.

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Review • Tantus Starter, Warm-Up, & Silk Small • Every Little Thing


I have a friend of the Sapphic persuasion who wanted to try being on the receiving end of strap-on play, but felt as though all the strap-on compatible dildos she’d seen at sex shops were too big for her vagina.

She doesn’t engage in penetration with anything except a finger or two, so even so-called small dildos were intimidating.

There are a million and one X-TREME monster dildos circulating the dildo-sphere, but very few body-safe, strap-on compatible penetrative toys of modest proportions. Tantus is changing that, because duh, it’s Tantus; they’re always going out of their way to make everyone feel included.
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Dildos, Vibrators

Review • Pleasure Works Rookie Vibrating Dildo • All About That Base

pleasureworks-vibrating-dildo-rookie-1I’ve been racking my brain to write an intro and damn if Mercury retrograde and caffeine withdrawal don’t have me tongue-tied. I’m just going to be blunt: I really like this dildo.

The first thing I did when I pulled it out of the box was give it a sniff. Pinky said, “smells like…dingus?” No, it doesn’t smell like dingus, silly– it smells like licorice! I don’t like fragrances emanating from my sex toys though (I’m looking at you, LELO), so luckily the scent wore off within a couple of days.

Rookie is a minimalist, 100% silicone dildo that comes with a black ABS plastic, one-speed, waterproof bullet vibe (batteries included). Rookie is the smallest of the realistic offerings in Good Vibrations’ Pleasure Works line, and comes in three flesh tones: Vanilla, Caramel (pictured), and Coffee.

It’s got a less-is-more-meets-more-than-meets-the-eye appeal (that’s a tongue-twister). That’s the beauty of it: humble simplicity with small details that remind you – YES – this dildo was designed by sex educators using trial and error, not just speculation!

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Review • Tantus Uncut • Dual Density Uncircumcised Dildo

tantus-uncut-5Metis Black, founder of Tantus, tweeted that the palest shade in the Uncut collection, Cream, looks “a bit albino.” Until now, I didn’t have a single dildo I could strap on that looked like it was part of my body. My Irish skin is always at least two shades lighter than any realistic dildo, so I tweeted back at her, “Thanks for the representation!” The other colors in the collection are equally stunning: Cocoa, a lovely olive shade, and Mocha, a rich blue-black. 

When I held Uncut in my dildo-greedy mitts, it appeared unnervingly massive; at 7.45″ of insertable length and 1.75″ in diameter, it’s the thickest and longest dildo that would conquer my vagina. The Uncut #2 is its one-inch-shorter counterpart, which I passed up because, hey, more shaft to hold onto!

It was too long to use as a strap-on with the thinner-bodied partner I attempted it with, but I mostly chose this dildo for my-own-dang-self, so I wasn’t heartbroken. If your main goal is going balls-deep with your strap-on, I’d suggest the Uncut #2, unless you know your partner can take very long toys, or he/she is a person of size who needs that extra length to bypass bigger butt cheeks, for example.

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Review • Tantus Sport Silicone Dildo • This Sporting Life

Tantus Sport is a really nice dildo. A no-nonsense, all-purpose, sensible dildo. A dildo’s dildo. It comes in two sizes: Sport, a petite opening act that “sports” five-and-a-half inches of insertable length, and Sport Long, a lengthy seven-and-a-half-incher, both made from Tantus’ 100% fully-sterilizable, odorless, body-safe, signature Ultra-Premium Silicone (whew!).

Personally, I love the element of surprise that comes with choosing a Tantus Grab BagSport is nearly half-price if you’re not picky about the color. Mine turned out to be a pearlescent lilac shade. Not bad.

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Anal Toys, Dildos

Review • Tantus Slow Drive • Take it Easy!

Tantus Slow Drive came out in late 2014 as a remake of a discontinued Tantus favorite called Faerie. It’s a non-phallic, glossy, Ultra Platinum Silicone dildo with 5″ of insertable length, and a 1.25″ diameter. It comes in silver, midnight purple, and black. I chose the hypnotizing silver, which, when held up to the light, dances with swirls of gunmetal gray, like a shimmering pool of liquid mercury.

I recently seized a literal butt-load of Tantus harness-compatible dildos because I only had (*gasp*) one, the WetForHer Five. That’s inexcusable, and I’ll be the first to admit it.

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