Content warning: so much butts and poop and also nuclear warheads.
I’m going to tell you a secret. I do my best work when I have to take a poo. Sometimes I’ll tell my boyfriend Pinky, “I have to poop,” and he’ll reply, “so go poop.” “No,” I’ll counter, “I’ll lose my creativity.” Apparently having to poop relaxes the body and mind by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. I’m anal retentive, literally, and unfortunately that doesn’t make me meticulously organized (confound you, Freud!). So, I wasn’t surprised that I couldn’t wait to start writing my review the moment I slid my new Tantus Ryder butt plug into my bum. Oh, c’mon, don’t look at me like that, you know butt plugs make you feel like you have to poop!