Poring over sex toy forums, there was a theme I picked up on pretty quickly: a dearth of girth. Folks disappointed by the lack of meaty dildos just long enough to bottom out during a strap-on pounding. Not colossal horse “dongs,” or foot-long PVC cervix impalers that sweat nightmare toxins, but simply body-safe, strap-on compatible dildos of average length with a formidable circumference.
So, then, I wondered, “where the big dicks at?” I was on a mission. A mission to find the very best in the stout silicone category! I believe I fulfilled that objective, if I may say so myself.
The first toy I got my hands on was a birthday gift from Pinky: a platinum silicone dildo characterized by a plush outer layer enveloping a dense core for stability. Vixen Creations’ VixSkin Randy (5 3/4″ x 2 1/5″).
I cannot overstate how deliciously lifelike this silicone is. He may be named ‘Randy,’ but I just want to kiss him and love him and squeeze him and hug him and call him George.
Okay, but is it perfect? Well, VixSkin does have a reputation for guzzling lube, and Randy is no exception, so make sure that you keep a bottle or two of water-based on hand. There is also has a slight clamminess to the surface that attracts hairs and other fluff which may necessitate a rinse even if you washed it yesterday.
I’m still working on fitting it all the way inside me. I was able to get it halfway in by slathering it in Sliquid water-based lube, sticking it to the toilet lid using the suction cup base, and sitting on it. It would get just past my pubic bone before I’d experience searing pain.
My second discovery was this chubby, dual-density dick named Mikey O2 from Tantus (4.78″ x 1 3/4″). Like VixSkin Randy, Mikey has a yielding outer layer of silicone and a stiffer inner core. Mikey feels more like a raging hard-on than Randy due to the thinner outer covering. The head is shiny and slippery, while the sumptuous matte shaft feels remarkably like actual skin.
Mikey O2 is the least girthy of the bunch, and I had no problem inserting it vaginally.
This specimen has the least dramatic angles of the three dildos, which makes it the best choice for rapid-fire, in-and-out thrusting.
The sapphire blue dildo pictured is Happy Valley’s Hottie Xtra (5 1/4″ x 2 1/4″). A slightly pointed head gracefully tapers into a valley and gentle peak before easing into a smooth shaft. Hottie Xtra, a single-density silicone, is the firmest of all three, with very little give, which makes it feel a lot more substantial than VixSkin Randy or Mikey O2.
Randy also comes in one-density silicone (full-disclosure: I haven’t felt this version) if you’re trying to save a few bucks but find the shape intriguing.
Hottie is not for the faint of orifice, and lends itself to anal play better than vaginal in my estimation. Hottie’s base allows for the insertion of a bullet vibe to kick up the intensity even further.
I love these dildos. I swear just looking at them brings me to tears. If you’re aching to push your limits with a mildly intimidating toy, these three may be the ticket.