I love pineapples! They are a great source of essential dietary manganese, and there is an element of sexiness associated with their ejaculate taste-enhancing properties. That’s why when Crystal Delights told me I could review one of their products, my first ever glass toy, I knew right away I had to have the Pineapple Delight Plug.
This booty beauty comes swathed in a quilted black satin brocade clutch giving the whole package a retro, Carmen Miranda-esque charm.
Each one-of-a-kind, body-safe Borosilicate glass piece of is handmade in the US, and adorned with a hypnotic Swarovski Elements crystal in the base that calls to mind aurora borealis brooches popular in the 1950s.
I showed it to Pinky, and he said, “you love gems!” I do – Ring Pops, crystal skulls, Troll dolls – anything that glimmers. In the words of my Texan second cousin, “the gaudier, the better!”
“The only thing better than a gem,” Pinky noted, “is one you can put in your butt!” He knows me well.
The gold fuming-laced bumps dappling the surface of the bulb impart a delicate pink hue and an incredible texture when inserted. At $144.95, this is high-end for the rear end. This “toy,” if I should be so crass as to refer to it as that, makes me feel like a fucking princess.
I could see this being an amazing gift to present to your partner before whisking them off to a balmy beach to get busy to the sounds of the waves crashing and the breeze rustling through the palms outside your reed hut. Sigh.
Flowery prose aside, this plug doesn’t make my butt hurt. I can just put it in and relax. The 1.8-inch-wide bulb is heavy, stable, and evident, and the stem narrows enough to prevent my butt from screaming out in pain after an hour of wearing it. It feels good the entire time it’s in me.
At three inches of insertable length, it doesn’t suffer from Too Long Syndrome (that is to say, the base is flush with my butt cheeks and doesn’t feel like I’m being prodded internally when I sit down).
The Pineapple Delight Plug is very easy to clean due to the non-porosity of the glass. Just wash it in soap and water, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. No sweat. For being so luxurious, it is really low-maintenance.
The biggest upside to glass plugs is that they don’t retain ass-stank. Hallelujah! Keep it on your bedside table, no problem.
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