Spoiler alert: my butt isn’t the champion I thought it was. You might say my eyes were bigger than my brown eye. Way to deflate a butt’s ego, Lovehoney Classic Large.
No-nonsense, with a well-designed base that tucks into the cheeks for safe keeping, and a slot at the base for a bullet vibrator, this satiny 100% silicone beast is heftier and firmer than I expected.
You could probably knock someone out swinging it mace-style at the bottom of a gym sock.
I liberally greased it up with oil-based Coconu lube, I huffed, and I puffed, and I…couldn’t get it in. I even tried sitting on it. My poor butthole was no match for the Lovehoney Classic Large. Like, not even close. What-was-I-thinking not even close.
Here’s why I’m digging it so much in spite of the fact that it’s not going inside my butt any time soon: it’s so soft, lint-free, and heavy. For a $23 plug, I expected something flimsy.
A few days after my fruitless undertaking, I was messing around with my friend, knowing the plug would be the perfect size for his well-seasoned booty. I made a game out of pretending as though the plug was too big, keeping it just on the precipice of being drawn in as he masturbated.
When I finally let his sphincter consume the widest part of the bulb (a formidable seven-and-a-half-inches in circumference), the pop was so satisfying, he came on the spot. “Oh good,” I thought, “I’ll save this plug for when he visits.”
So, if you’ve got a chasm, give yourself a ‘gasm with this baby nested snugly in your bum.
Lovehoney Classic Large $22.99 at Lovehoney
Thank you to Lovehoney for sending me the Lovehoney Classic Large for review!
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