Vibrators

Review • Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Ears Clitoral Vibrator • A Unique Rabbit

Lovehoney-Happy-Rabbit-Ears

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?

A: Unique up and rabbit!

Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?

A: The tame way, unique up and rabbit! 1

I have never liked rabbits due to the fact that it’s so difficult to get them to align just right with my anatomy. I have, however, liked toys with protuberances that flick against my clit (my first vibrator was a bullet with a little silicone flicky tail), so I figured Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Ears would suit my tastes. It’s a penetration-less rabbit, right? You put your clit between the ears and it flutters you into orgasmic oblivion. “Of course that’s how it works,” I reassured myself, and carried on…

I thought I had it all figured out, but the manner in which I was implementing the toy left me crestfallen.

I aligned it so the tips of the ears were on either side of my clitoris, glanced at my watch, tapped my foot, hummed a little tune. Like those passengers on the bus in the movie Speed, I just wasn’t getting off. Then, after trying every imaginable means of using it, I stumbled upon a method that rocked my body with as many orgasms as I desired. Touché, Happy Rabbit Ears.

What I did to achieve seemingly endless orgasms was – with the nose facing away from my body – wedge my clit between the ears (like a hammer extracting a nail) and subtly tug my clitoris down. Something about the pulling combined with the vibrations increased the pleasure quotient exponentially. Between orgasms, I let off on the tugging, but left my clit in the wedged position, then when I wanted another orgasm, I just pulled down again, and voilà, like clockwork, I came. I lost count of my orgasms.

Happy Rabbit Ears is an eight inch, 100% silky matte silicone clitoral vibrator that, unlike many silicone products, doesn’t collect an inordinate amount of dust bunnies (har har). The shape is ergonomic. The vibrations are quiet. It’s USB rechargeable and waterproof. These are a few of my favorite things.

Lovehoney-Happy-Rabbit-Ears-3

Happy Rabbit Ears is the kind of pink I love, like my Fun Factory Jam – retina-blistering cyber pink that looks like it stepped out of a 90s rave. Its packaging consists of a simple, tasteful cardboard box with a plastic cradle.

I’m a minimalist when it comes to packaging: I don’t care. I sure as hell don’t want half my money going towards peau de soie-lined, marble housing for my dang dildo. Put it in a Saltine cracker box for all I care, as long as the toy is good. I do appreciate a drawstring bag to store the toy, and this one has a feature that makes it stand out: a “Happy Rabbit” label sewn in for easy identification.

Ears has three speeds and nine patterns, twelve settings in total. As always, I wish it were the other way around, but life’s not fair, is it?

As most of the vibrations are concentrated in the head of the rabbit, your fingers don’t become buzzed up by the end of your masturbation session. The back of the rabbit’s head makes contact with my vulva (notably my clitoral shaft), allowing a decent swathe of territory to receive vibrations, so it’s not overly pinpoint.

The motor is not breathtakingly powerful, but combined with the tug method, it induces very unique orgasms, like jerking my clit off. This may not work for certain individuals’ anatomy.

Lovehoney-Happy-Rabbit-Ears-2According to the copy on the box, Happy Rabbit Ears is, “more fun than going to the gym” (I’d fucking hope so – I hate the gym), and “less fattening than chocolate” (why is my vibrator fattening? It’s not a food product). This leads me to believe it was written by someone whose idea of women is based off yogurt commercials and the Cathy comic strip. ACK!

Pinky and I also tried putting the ears in our nostrils and turning it up full blast. Pinky’s verdict? “It’s pretty good.” We couldn’t help ourselves.

Patience paid off. This clitoral vibrator surprised me in a most pleasant way. I was initially underwhelmed, but then found out I was underestimating its capabilities, sorta like the sex toy equivalent of the Rabbit of Caerbannog. I can’t fully endorse this toy, since it was hard to figure out, and may not do the same thing for your genitals as it did for mine. If it sounds like it might, I would recommend unique up and rabbit.

Thank you kindly to Lovehoney for sending me Happy Rabbit Ears in exchange for an unbiased review, and thank you, readers, for clicking on my affiliate links to help keep the reviews coming!

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Up to Half Price Sale at Lovehoney plus FREE delivery when you spend $40

Notes:

  1. How do you catch a unique rabbit? You sneak up and grab it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The same way, you sneak up and grab it!
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  • Lunabelle

    First of all, applause for referencing the Rabbit of Caerbannog.

    Second, I am super intrigued by your technique with this toy, because I dig motion/pressure in addition to vibrations, and that sounds excellent. Might need to check this one out!

  • This review has also piqued my interest in this toy. Might have to settle my curiosity about it too.

    Oh and bonus points as well for referring to the “daddy” of all rabbits – not to be trifled with of course.

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