Dildos, Vibrators

Review • Pleasure Works Rookie Vibrating Dildo • All About That Base

pleasureworks-vibrating-dildo-rookie-1I’ve been racking my brain to write an intro and damn if Mercury retrograde and caffeine withdrawal don’t have me tongue-tied. I’m just going to be blunt: I really like this dildo.

The first thing I did when I pulled it out of the box was give it a sniff. Pinky said, “smells like…dingus?” No, it doesn’t smell like dingus, silly– it smells like licorice! I don’t like fragrances emanating from my sex toys though (I’m looking at you, LELO), so luckily the scent wore off within a couple of days.

Rookie is a minimalist, 100% silicone dildo that comes with a black ABS plastic, one-speed, waterproof bullet vibe (batteries included). Rookie is the smallest of the realistic offerings in Good Vibrations’ Pleasure Works line, and comes in three flesh tones: Vanilla, Caramel (pictured), and Coffee.

It’s got a less-is-more-meets-more-than-meets-the-eye appeal (that’s a tongue-twister). That’s the beauty of it: humble simplicity with small details that remind you – YES – this dildo was designed by sex educators using trial and error, not just speculation!

For instance, the hollow wherein one places a bullet vibe is narrow at the bottom to keep the vibrator snug, but wide at the top so you can actually grasp the bullet with your fingers to pull it out.

pleasureworks-rookie-vibrating-dildo-base

the tapered bullet vibe chamber

They didn’t skimp on the base, which is sooo important; the base is substantial despite the fact that the dildo itself is small. I hate when I really like a small dildo, but the base slips through my harness (see Slow Drive and Sport).

Texture? Creamy, smooth, matte, and draggy, similar to non-slip rubber. 5.75″ long by 1.25″ in diameter. The head has the wrinkles and pores of a real penis. The shaft is flexible, and slightly curved for G- or P-spotting. No pretense.

I compared the accompanying bullet vibe to Tantus’ single-speed and a generic bullet (to what brand it belongs I have no clue), and it was stronger than both. It’s a decent lil’ watch battery-powered bullet, but it is nevertheless a watch battery-powered bullet. Make of that what you will.

Where I’m from (Sex Toy Reviewerland), bullets of that sort inevitably get chucked into “The Basket o’Bullets.” Perhaps there should be a charity to donate discarded bullet vibes to sex ed classrooms; I would’ve loved a free bullet vibe (or any vibe!) to take home from sex ed class. Oh wait, I forgot! My country is a Puritanical Hellscape.

Given the choice of bullet cavity or no bullet cavity in my dildos, I will always choose the former, that way I can hack it with a rechargeable vibe like the We-Vibe Tango to create a powerful custom vibrator.

tango-and-rookie-VHSSadly, Rookie’s vibe pit isn’t deep enough to fit the entire length of the Tango and use it as a strap-on: too much vibrator juts out and will stab your pubis repeatedly, so I reserve Tango & Rookie (which frankly sounds like an 80s buddy cop film) for times when I’m using my hand to thrust it.

Rookie is a neat little no-frills strap-on for beginner-to-intermediate penetration enthusiasts. It has usurped all my other small dildos for the title of “Most All-Around Satisfactory Beginners’ Pegging Dildo.” Cuz you know I’m all about that base, ’bout that base.

I’m really happy to see conscientious companies creating body-safe toys for the masses. Perhaps, in the not-too-distant future – fingers crossed – Big Phthalate will be utterly shamed out of the market (or, y’know, the FDA could ban that shit??), thanks to ethical companies like Good Vibrations. No more Puritanical Hellscape, no more Porous Jellscape. The end.

Thank you to Good Vibrations for sending me Pleasure Works Rookie Vibrating Dildo in exchange for an unbiased review!

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