I loved the idea of getting Anthro Shark for my boyfriend, because who hasn’t fantasized about making slippery love to a predatory sea beast 20,000 leagues out of your league? So here’s Pinky, givin’ you the scoop on a Bad Dragon masturbator sleeve! – Heather
When Heather first told me she was getting the Bad Dragon Anthro Shark in the mail for me to review, showing me pictures, I was at once enthusiastic, supportive, and just a little bit afraid. I had never used a toy like this before, and the idea of putting my cock in something with the name of ‘dragon shark’ was cause for some intimidation in a first-timer like me.
I suppose I considered myself a purist when it came to masturbation. To use anything more than my hand and, occasionally, some lube, seemed (in my overactive imagination) to be the first step in a downward spiral towards becoming the kind of person for whom choosing between these two products is a life-or-death decision. But that was back when I was without a loving partner with whom to enjoy such implements in an un-self-conscious manner. Now, having used the Bad Dragon Anthro Shark—as well as having it used on me—I can say wholeheartedly that I finally understand the appeal.
The Anthro Shark is a (roughly) 8” long mass of ribbed, quivering, blue-grey 100% silicone. The color is surprisingly similar to the cartilage-tone of an actual shark, aside from the dash of pink on the folds of its sculpted, vulva-esque opening (psst: Heather here, click here for a view of the internal texture). There’s even a slight glittery sheen to the material when held up to light that calls to mind water on a shark’s fin poking through the surface. Flaring off the sides of the business-end are what appear to be fins, in keeping with the shark-theme. It’s not a particularly ‘sexy’ design, but that’s OK. Similar toys that attempt to sell you on fucking a literally disembodied vagina are what put me off these things in the first place. There’s a pleasantly cartoonish vibe to the Anthro Shark’s design that I appreciate, and which has caused Heather and me to refer to it, affectionately, as “that Fish vagina.”
When it came time to test-drive the thing, I was a little nervous. A tentative finger made it seem awfully snug, and I’ve had trouble in the past with some toys Heather wanted to try on me being too small. I was worried it would be more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Thankfully, I was completely wrong. With plenty of lube and a little bit of force, I was in like Flynn, and didn’t mind the snugness one bit (surprise). It took some getting used to for both of us to figure out the optimal method.
The first time I did most of the work while she observed my methods, and it was a good, but not great, experience. By the second time we tried it, however, Heather (observant darling that she is) gave me a ‘Sharking’ the likes of which I will not soon forget. The post-orgasm felt not unlike the comedown from a DMT-flash: I was pressing my head to her breasts and just trying to remember who I was. Seriously, it was that good.
On the flip-side, removing myself from the Shark’s clutches after such an intense orgasm was difficult. The head of my penis is extremely sensitive after coming (and not in a pleasurable way), so when I pulled out, the ribbed inner surface of the Shark—which minutes ago was a delightful design decision for which I was thankful—made me feel like I’d just fucked a Chinese finger trap, but with teeth. Yowzers. It’s not a big deal, but those similarly sensitized as myself ought to know what they’re getting into. My first thought was I might actually prefer to pull out when I come and finish with my hand, as that’s what I’m used to in actual intercourse, but then I reconsidered. When in Rome, as they say, and I’m sure I’ll get used to the after-effects with more use, and maybe even learn to love it.
Cleaning the Shark was a snap. There is another opening on the other end for draining purposes, a smart decision on
the part of Bad Dragon. A little old-fashioned dish soap and plenty of hot water run through it does the trick. The silicone is a little sticky on its own, so be wary of where you place it, as it can accumulate all manner of detritus (it’s like a magnet for dust and cat hair).
If there’s a negative to the Shark’s design, it would be that it’s bulky and kind of awkward. There’s just no real good place to put it that I’ve found, aside from wrapped up in a towel under the bed. It may need some sort of pouch or carrying case for the sake of convenience. It’s also definitely not an inconspicuous item, so don’t imagine it’s a toy to leave out on your coffee table (unless you are in very intimate company).
All in all, this toy is fun for the whole family (so to speak). Heather loved using it on me, commenting that it alleviates her self-consciousness when giving handjobs, when it always feels like the person getting job’d could just do a better number on themselves. Not so with this Fish vagina: it’s a little awkward to use on oneself, but an ocean-wet dream of a toy when used on you by a partner (picture a threesome with Ariel from The Little Mermaid and you might start to have an idea).
It would be an ideal purchase for the single and penis-possessed, someone who desperately needs the feeling of actual penetration while not being made to feel like a wannabe Ed Gein (or James Deen). Bottom line: this toy gets a thumbs—or, I should say, a Pinky—up.
Thank you, Pinky, for your review, and thank you, Bad Dragon, for sending us the Anthro Shark in exchange for it!
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