Vibrators

Review • PicoBong Transformer • Art is Long, Life is Short

picobong-transformer-1

PicoBong sent me this flexy gadget named Transformer to review, so here we go!

Transformer is a minimalist, snaking cable with one spheroid bulb at each end, each end containing its own motor. It’s 25 ½ inches in total, 17 inches comprising the bendable vertebrae that separate the two vibrators. The whole thing is enveloped in a satiny body-safe silicone.

It comes in three colors: black, cerise, and yellow.

I chose the bright lemon yellow because, paired with Transformer’s wide array of curve configurations, it reminded me of the kinetic energy and joyfulness of Keith Haring‘s pop art (aaand I just learned Tenga apparently has a line of Keith Haring masturbator eggs/cups? Rad!)

It’s really quiet, rechargeable, waterproof. All that good stuff. Don’t boil it – it has mechanical parts. But you know that already.

It has three buttons: (+) increases the vibration intensity, (-) decreases, and the ‘M’ button cycles through the ten different modes. I normally don’t care much for patterns, but I’m digging the fact that this gizmo has two vibrators that vibrate independently of one another. It would be even cooler if you could turn one on and leave the other off, but alas, that is not the case.

picobong-transformer-packagingThe patterns are as follows:

  1. Both ends vibrating steadily
  2. Pulsing back and forth between the two ends slowly
  3. Pulsing back and forth between the two ends quickly
  4. Both ends slowly pulsing on and off
  5. Both ends quickly pulsing on and off
  6. Vibration crescendo on one end, then the other end a revving pulse
  7. Both ends crescendo at the same time
  8. One end crescendos, then the other crescendos, back and forth
  9. Both ends revving at the same time
  10. Random pattern that switches between ends

The packaging reminds me of artist Oliver Hibert’s psychedelic art. How can you not love a box that embraces tentacles in their design?

I christened the toy by wrapping it around my partner’s dick with one vibrator aimed at his perineum and the other encircling his balls while I gave him a blowjob. His eyes actually rolled back into his head. After he blew his proverbial load and caught his breath, he muttered, “I…like…PicoBong.” I’m not kidding. Tonight, while sitting on opposite sides of the couch, I straightened the implement out and began vibrating him from a distance. Fun, but not orgasmically fun. Tonight he reiterated, “I endorse [Transformer].”

I ended up using it as a vibrating cock & ball ring on a BDSM play partner with erectile dysfunction to better facilitate CBT. The mild constriction and extra stimulation from the vibes helped a lot. You’ve gotta include the balls, because it’s not pliable enough to become narrow enough for a cock-only ring. The shape did loosen after a bit, so this option isn’t recommended for PIV, unless you’re not worried about your partner staying hard, and instead are just wrapping it around their cock and balls to stimulate them or to keep it in place while you get off using the vibes. I haven’t tried this.

During another scene, I put a dildo up a guy’s booty, and wrapped Transformer around his package, angling it to vibrate the dildo inside of him. He was a happy camper.

picobong-transformer-3When I tried it on myself, it gave me an orgasm, but rather awkwardly. The vibration isn’t awe-inspiring. I quickly came to realize that Transformer works better for the bepenised and testicle’d set, and as an accessory, not the main event. I feel like this toy has a lot of potential for bondage and hands-free situations for folks with this anatomy.

If you’re one of those magical people who can orgasm from nipple stimulation (or just enjoy it), you can curve it into a bike U-lock shape and point a vibrator against each nipple. Again, this could be fun as an addition to a more elaborate scenario.

Because I’m using this on multiple partners in orifices of varying degrees of bacterial colonization, I usually slap condoms on the bulbs. It helps keep them sanitary, prevents bodily fluids and solids from accumulating in the crevices, and inhibits smells from being absorbed by the silicone.

I also love that I can store/charge it by wrapping it around anything – doorknobs, the supportive columns on shelving units, a coat rack, whatever! Transformer doesn’t look like a sex toy, so unless your kith and kin are savvy (in which case it makes a great conversation piece), you’re in the clear.

So, while PicoBong Transformer does require a bit of creativity to maneuver, it’s a versatile and unique toy that I’m happy to call a part of my collection.

Thanks, PicoBong, for sending me the Transformer in exchange for an honest review!

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