Dildos

Review • Tantus Uncut • Dual Density Uncircumcised Dildo

tantus-uncut-5Metis Black, founder of Tantus, tweeted that the palest shade in the Uncut collection, Cream, looks “a bit albino.” Until now, I didn’t have a single dildo I could strap on that looked like it was part of my body. My Irish skin is always at least two shades lighter than any realistic dildo, so I tweeted back at her, “Thanks for the representation!” The other colors in the collection are equally stunning: Cocoa, a lovely olive shade, and Mocha, a rich blue-black. 

When I held Uncut in my dildo-greedy mitts, it appeared unnervingly massive; at 7.45″ of insertable length and 1.75″ in diameter, it’s the thickest and longest dildo that would conquer my vagina. The Uncut #2 is its one-inch-shorter counterpart, which I passed up because, hey, more shaft to hold onto!

It was too long to use as a strap-on with the thinner-bodied partner I attempted it with, but I mostly chose this dildo for my-own-dang-self, so I wasn’t heartbroken. If your main goal is going balls-deep with your strap-on, I’d suggest the Uncut #2, unless you know your partner can take very long toys, or he/she is a person of size who needs that extra length to bypass bigger butt cheeks, for example.

I was most impressed with how realistic it is, but then again, all dildos are technically realistic (they all look like real dildos). What I mean is that it looks a lot like a penis! An intact penis! The gentle curve of the shaft, the veins, the ruched skin, the penile raphe, the prepuce peeking out of the highly-detailed foreskin! Quelle beauté! 

tantus-uncut-packagingUncut is made from Tantus’ Dual Density O2 fully-sterilizable silicone, featuring a Super SoftTM outer layer and a firm inner core. The inner core ends about 3/4 of the way up the dildo, leaving the head really plush and squishable. No cervical bruising from this bad boy. The shaft is still super flexible, and the matte “skin” is velvety soft and supple, like a baby’s bottom.

My first live-in boyfriend was uncircumcised, and at the risk of sounding like a complete snob/whore/”That Person,” a large part of my sexual education took place when I was studying abroad in Europe, so I’m a bit of an intactivist.

I’m nervous writing this because Pinky is circumcised, and his penis is my darling, but I wish he’d had a say on whether or not he got elective cosmetic surgery of the genitals, yeah? I have a certain affinity for…the penis? Bodily autonomy? Humanity? I guess that’s why I think taking a scalpel to a minor’s genitals is disturbing save for in medically necessary circumstances. To say you are happy or indifferent that someone you love had body parts non-consensually amputated is bizarre to me (I see you, genital mutilation apologists. I see you). Moving on…

tantus-uncut-4A lot of reviewers seem disappointed that the foreskin doesn’t fully retract. I am not one of those reviewers. Dildos are not living organisms that produce antimicrobial smegma (Greek for soap) like real penises, and therefore are predisposed to microorganism growth if not cleaned properly. This is why I don’t buy porous sex toys! So why would I want fragile overlapping folds (even silicone folds!) for moisture, vadge goop, doo-doo butter, and lube to accumulate? Can you imagine ruining an $114 dildo because you ripped the foreskin trying to clean inside it? No thank you!

When the dildo is inside of me, I can pretend it’s retracted (just like some people pretend their dildos are actually penises); it’s not like I can see it up there.

My favorite part about the Uncut is the fact that the coronal ridge is softly graduated and blends into the shaft, especially considering it’s so girthy. It’s filling, it hits my G-spot nicely, and withdrawing it doesn’t make me flinch, because it doesn’t bang uncomfortably against my pubic bone. On top of all that, the base is substantial, so it won’t be escaping my harness! I can say with certainty this luxury sexing tool will be seeing a lot of use.

I know that sex toys aren’t real people, but I find myself wanting to bring Uncut with me and Pinky on the couch while we’re watching a movie. Uncut has personality; he’s decidedly snuggle-able. I just wanna pinch his squishy cheeks…er, head!

It’s weird to say that I’m going to treasure A DILDO, but I really feel like I’m part of something special with the Uncut. Something, dare I say, revolutionary. The tide is changing, fewer people are opting to circumcise, and this uncircumcised dildo is symbolic of that. I’m proud to own my Uncut.

Sandra at SheVibe sent me the Tantus Uncut in exchange for an unbiased review. Thank you, Sandra!

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  • Sara Testarossa

    So pretty! I hope we start carrying these (I’ll put a bug in my boss’s ear about it, we already love Tantus, so…). There are other companies that make realistic uncut but not in lovely dual density silicone! Mmmm. Really, the more realistic silicone toys we have as options, the better.

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