Vibrators

Review • Minna Limon Clitoral Vibrator • Stress Ball of the Future

I think I’ve found my dream toy. I mean it when I say I’m smitten. In deep smit. Up smit creek without a paddle.

I have been sitting here coming and coming like some kind of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think I’ve had nine orgasms from it in the last two hours. Pinky pulled up in the driveway and I thought, “can I get off between now and the moment he walks in the door (about ten seconds)?” The answer is yes. 

Limon was the second crowdfunded toy brought to us by Minna, creators of the Ola. Limon is a waterproof, palm-sized medical-grade silicone-sheathed clitoral vibrator that encases two pressure-sensitive air bladders, one on each side.

It comes in true teal and magenta.

Press the button to turn Limon on, and it lights up with a Minna logo and responds with a series of vibrations to let you know its charge status: three pulses for “fully charged,” two for “medium charged,” and one for “charge me!” The packaging is a cute cardboard poster tube; inside you’ll find a USB charger dock that cradles the toy, a user’s manual, and a gray drawstring pouch.

minna-limon-packaging

The first setting is called Free Play mode: the harder you squeeze, the more intensely it vibrates. If you let off the pressure a little, it winds down, like revving an engine. If you stop squeezing altogether, it stops vibrating.

I’ve mentioned before that when I orgasm using a vibrator, I usually remove the vibrator and take over with my hand due to sensitivity. With Limon, I can keep it there and reduce the vibrations to a barely discernible level and/or intermittently pulse them. This also makes it perfect for edging.

Limon is incredibly rumbly but not exactly Hitachi-caliber vibrations. You won’t get that much juice out of this lemon, but it is impressively punchy and I rarely increase the vibrations to full strength. It has a little nub at the top (on a bio lemon, this is called the ‘remains of style’) which you can use for pinpoint vibrations that are nevertheless penetrating and diffuse.

I’m not used to deep, purring vibrations, so it took me several uses before my body adapted to it. Once it did, my orgasms with were reminiscent of those oft-chased (much like the proverbial Dragon), rarely-achieved orgasms of yore, from here on out known as ‘yore-gasms.’

Press the button a second time, and you’re now in Record mode, meaning you can create your own pattern. I usually don’t use pre-set patterns, but these personalized patterns are different: they know what you want because they are an extension of your brain. Play around to find the perfect tempo, and press the button again to lock the pattern in. It will now play the pattern back to you in a loop. Ostensibly it could also be used to spell out S.O.S. in Morse code, strapped onto a pigeon, and sent flying to seek help in the case of an emergency. pigeon-with-minna-limon

One complaint I have is that once you turn the device off, your pattern is lost forever. At once disappointing, and a sweet reminder of the ephemeral nature of this mortal coil.

The first time I used it, I was giving Pinky a blowjob. It was ultimately too unwieldy and distracting to squeeze with my hand, so I went hands-free and tucked it between my legs, squeezing it with my thighs (ThighMaster™ and vibrators, together at last! Introducing the ThighMasturbator™!).

To my dismay, these actually exist. Please buy a real sex toy if you’re looking to have orgasms. There’s nothing shameful about owning sex toys, and they come in all sorts of discreet shapes.

Speaking of which, I would’ve killed to have this as a teenager. This is an almost perfect inconspicuous vibrator for a teenager with sex-negative parents. It looks like a stress ball, it stops vibrating immediately without having to click any switches or press any buttons, and it’s incredibly quiet. The only downsides are the fact that it lights up when it’s on, and when it’s charging (unless you can convince your shitty parents it’s a stress ball NIGHT LIGHT, right? Kids these days with their kooky night lights).

Anatomically speaking, I have an exposed clitoris; I’ve heard the shape is incompatible with those who have buried clits and that holding it for long periods of time can cause tingly fingers. *Shrugs shoulders* I love it. I’ve never owned a sex toy that worked so well for my body.

When life gives you Minna Limon…well, *slinks away to her bedroom*

Thank you to Minna Life for offering me a Limon in exchange for an unbiased review. You can pick up your own Limon at SheVibe, SheBop, and Early to Bed. Minna Limon is ON SALE at Good Vibrations for $99!

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